{"id":213,"date":"2009-10-27T03:09:00","date_gmt":"2009-10-27T03:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/anne.myupcomingsite.com\/words-really-do-matter\/"},"modified":"2013-08-06T15:48:13","modified_gmt":"2013-08-06T15:48:13","slug":"words-really-do-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/anne.myupcomingsite.com\/?p=213","title":{"rendered":"Words Really Do Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n

When not thought out \u2013 such as a carelessly worded e-mail, words can annoy, hurt or wound the spirit. When they are spoken or written with the full feeling of our hearts, they can heal and even transform. That was what I\u2019ll remember most from\u00a0attending the third annual\u00a0Wellness & Writing Connections Conference\u00a0on Oct. 23\u00a0at Georgia Tech.<\/p>\n

The conference\u2019s keynote speaker was someone who touched me with her sincerity — a \u201csister in spirit\u201d — author, journalist and 33-year writing professor Julie Davey. A two-time cancer survivor, Julie gives back by teaching\u00a0cancer patients\u00a0how to use writing\u00a0to heal at the City of Hope Medical Center in Los Angeles.
\nTo our group of 100 writers, she shared the stories of some of her students to demonstrate the power of directed writing (as opposed to journal writing) for people needing to face their sadness, fear, frustration, pain.
\nShe told the story of Linda Bergman, a famous Hollywood producer with 26 films to her credit, who got cancer on her 50th birthday as she was filming \u201cMichael Landon: The Father I Knew.\u201d\u00a0 Julie recalled how Linda was about to give up with the chemo treatments that weren\u2019t making her better. She was ready to check out of the hospital and go home to die. Her family and oncologist at the City of Hope convinced her to try one final trial. Four months later she was cured. Linda donates one day a week at the City of Hope, serving as an anonymous greeter to arrivals at the cancer center. Linda wrote about her victory and how much she loves serving others facing\u00a0cancer\u00a0in \u201cFree at Last:\u201d<\/p>\n

I have reached my goal \u2013 I am no longer the victim.
\nI am assisting those who have come behind me.
\nI see it on the patient\u2019s faces when I get the opportunity to say, \u2018Oh you have leukemia. I had that, too.\u2019
\nI see the light in their eyes as they search mine for answers.
\nNo, we don\u2019t always have the same disease, but they know I speak their language.
\nThey know I can be trusted.
\nThey know I have faced the demons and lived to tell about it.
\nThey know I am disease-free and standing in the midst of the storm, shining a light to them.
\nThey know I love them because I am them.<\/p>\n

Julie also spoke about her favorite student of all time \u2013 Violet Wightman, who began taking her writing classes at Fullerton College at age 91. Violet\u2019s ice-breaker introduction was that she was a friend to both Russian composer Sergei Rachmaninoff and the famous aviator Amelia Earhart \u2013 statements that she later proved were true. Violet was a former concert pianist who raised her four children alone after her husband, a Hollywood dentist, died tragically in a car accident in Europe. Always outspoken and colorful in class, Violet had aspirations to write her life story. Upon learning she had terminal cancer, this desire became urgent. Julie and others at the college helped Violet pull together her writing collection, Sitting on a Cloud, before her death.<\/p>\n

Each of us attending Julie\u2019s talk got to experience directed writing. We were given an\u00a0envelope with the message, \u201cPlease wait to open.\u201d When it was time to open my envelope, it read: \u201cThe day I would like to relive (or live over) would be the day\u2026.”<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have to think for long. I wrote, \u201cThe day my terminally ill mother asked if I could spend the day with her because it was a good day (she was feeling okay), and I didn\u2019t because of work deadlines. I thought there would be more days but they became fewer in number as her condition deteriorated. I would love to have that day back, because she\u2019s gone and the work wasn\u2019t important.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a>My mother died on Aug. 3, 2004, three weeks after my son was born. This brief episode in my mother\u2019s nine-month struggle with stage four lung cancer has always haunted me. I bitterly think about my absorption in work \u2013and I hated myself for not taking a break from the daily grind of client expectations to realize that time was short \u2013 that soon I would no longer have my mother to talk with, share confidences with, to be with for those mother-daughter\u00a0moments that were such a fabric of our relationship. I admit I cried as I wrote those words. Getting them down on paper helped me accept that\u00a0I am human and most importantly, that\u00a0my mother\u00a0knew how much I loved her…that our bond is unshakeable, unchanged no matter how many years\u00a0pass.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
I\u00a0did my own form of\u00a0healing through narrative by penning\u00a0A Breath Away: Daughters Remember Mothers Lost to Smoking<\/em> 10 months after my mother’s passing.\u00a0 I poured out my pain through my own remembrances and those of other\u00a0daughters who lost their\u00a0mothers too\u00a0soon, using my skills as a storyteller and interviewer. It was a healing experience, and one I hope to continue as I explore\u00a0adapting\u00a0some of these\u00a0stories for the stage.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
\"\"<\/a>So, how do you get started? Consider these exercises, suggested in Julie\u2019s book, Writing for Wellness<\/em>, when you have a quiet moment and want to get in touch with your feelings:<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
Tribute Letter<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u2022 Write a letter to someone missing in your life. Write about the good times you shared and describe why you miss them today. Share your letter with a person who knew or was related to your loved one or friend.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Unfinished Business<\/div>\n
\u2022 Is there some event in your life that still makes your angry or sad? Finish this sentence: When (describe the incident) happened, I felt\u2026.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Lessons Learned<\/div>\n
\u2022 What lessons have you learned so far in your life? Make a list of five to ten \u2013 explain in a few words how you learned these lessons, or finish one of these sentences:<\/div>\n
I learned the hard way that\u2026.<\/div>\n
I wish my parents had told me\u2026<\/div>\n
I would like to tell my children or friends to always\u2026<\/div>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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